I’m not vain, just paranoid.

I wake up this morning, stumble into the bathroom, peer in the mirror and see a black hair on my upper lip.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT A MISSTACHE!!!! I CAN’T HAVE A MISSTACHE!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO – OOOOOOO…

I brush at it. Oh. It’s just Maimer’s.

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