Sphinxy’s new address: Hell

Sis and I just moved out of Mom and Dad’s to live on our own. LOVE our new home.  And Maimer is very happy with it.  However, I have run into one of the worst stretches of bad luck I have ever known.  Within days of moving in, Maimer’s bladder problems returned worse than ever.  I took her in only to find out she had bladder stones and needed to be operated on.  The bill came to… (are you sitting down?)  ONE THOUSAND FREAKIN DOLLARS!  Sigh.  There goes the computer I was hoping to buy.  And the cable tv.  And high-speed internet.  And groceries.
 
So Maimer is recooping and acting like she feels better than ever when I come down with a horrendous cold flu.  I’ve been sick for a whole week: like feverish, achy, sinusy, coughy, insomniac, everything.  So I call in sick for the fourth day in a row and the Shiz (my boss lady) says, great because you HAVE to come in tomorrow because everyone is sick and you ALL need to be here or there will be no one in Circulation.
 
So I show up for work the next day, voiceless, coughing until I gag, all that good stuff.  Caffeine Chick (hawaiian_jew) is in approximately the same condition.  Jeckyll has no discernable symptoms, but goes on and on about how she doesn’t feel well and will be going home as soon as we can spare her.  Chicky and I look at each other through our respective fever-induced hazes and we’re like WTF??
 
Meanwhile, Maimer is no longer doing so well.  She’s always licking her incision and upon closer inspection, I see it’s swollen, oozy and (EW?!?) STINKY!!!  So vet says she’s gotta come in TODAY.  So I’m dying, helping patrons that look horrified to be sharing the same air as me and on my lunch break, instead of resting or, say, eating?  I’m taking the cat to the vet to have her STAPLES removed. *gag*  So it turns out that each and every one of Maimer’s staples has twisted around INSIDE her stomach and FESTERED.  The vet first had to STRAIGHTEN THEM OUT before removing them.  Now Maim is on antibiotics.  Another bill.  And as an added bonus, I get to wrestle this blue horse pill down Maim’s throat every day for the next week.
 
Okay, by the time I get back to work, I am not doing so well.  My face is on fire with fever and it feels like there’s a knife in my left ear.  Jeckyll is still talking about LEAVING.  And to add to it, Dylan and Leslie walk by every now and then, telling me I can’t die before I go to our roleplaying game tonight (a special session, which we anticipate going until 4 or 5 am).  I’m starting to get panicky and really really pissed.  I finally tell Jeckyll I don’t think ANYONE should leave because we’re ALL just as SICK.  Jeckyll stops talking to me.  I go in the back room to sulk and finally eat lunch (at 3 pm).  Dylan and Leslie are on their break.  I vent on them until they say, you and Tripleshot go home now, YS and Reference will handle it!  So Caffeine Chick and I go up to Jeckyll together and say, bye we’re leaving.  And we walked out, Chicky murmuring something about “Mutiny on the Bounty.”
 
I bet you wish that was the end.  Oh, so do I, my friend, so do I.  Alas, I then went straight to a doc-in-the-box to find out if I’m safe to go to an all-nighter game.  I remember I still have my lunch leftovers with me in the car and it’s a hot day, so I carry the leftovers in with me.  Actually, first I stop into my regular doctor’s office to see if they have any openings.  They don’t, so I just take my walmart bag full of hot dog and relish and dasani and I go down the street.
 
You know how I feel about skeezy walk-in medicine, so I won’t bore you with a description.  Nothing has changed except the list of “dirty” countries, which now has two handwritten additions: Iraq and Nigeria.  Who knew.  Anyways, I wait so long (over an hour), that I’ve fallen asleep on my crinkly walmart bag by the time someone calls my name.  But it is not to admit me, no.  It’s to send me across town to their other branch which has no waiting.  Oh but wait, it takes me ANOTHER HOUR, just battling rush hour traffic to get out there!  And then I’m driving around the Krispy Kreme parking lot forever, looking for the place, calling home and alternately swearing and crying on the phone with Sis as she gives me directions.
 
So long long long story short, I find it, I’m admitted and…. I HAVE STREP!!  WITH A 100 DEGREE FEVER!!!  DAMN LIBRARY!!!!
  
Needless to say, I miss the special game session and anything else fun for the next week. I’m pissed, I’m bummed and I have to buy all new toothbrushes and toothpaste because apparently those are teeming streptococcal party-zones. Who’s “dirty” now?

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