finally i explain the point of this blog

everybody loves a makeover, right??  well, that's what everything is edible is ALL ABOUT!!  only, instead of taking only one hour including commercials, MY makeover has taken almost THIRTY YEARS!  sadly, 99% of it has been just in the last year.  but with my 31st birthday coming up on monday, i am celebrating with a retrospective, called:

how i stopped being a neurotic hermit

and started being a socially inept work-in-progress

so i used to be afraid of everything.  to see what my life used to be like, read this book:

or watch this show:

yeah, that was me.

actually, THIS was me:


okay, so i tried to come out of my shell during college, but it really didn't take.  i made earnest attempts to meet strange people, engage in stressful activities and pose awkwardly for group photos.  like so:


and so:

as you can see, i'd begun to adopt socially accepted values like hygeine and posture and fashion not involving pictures of animals.  but i'm still not quite with it.  if you zoom in, you'll notice i'm wearing a look that says, "what am i doing here?" or maybe, "who are these people i'm with [not pictured]?"

anyways, long story short, some of the strange people i met turned out to be very insistent and MADE me do things like stay out after dark, eat dairy products, say no, accept their help, accept their compliments, D&D, midnight JBX runs, homestarrunner, all your base, discuss philosophy, read manga, draw better, swear more, improv badly, improv less badly, not care that i was improv-ing badly, be outnumbered by males, be myself, flirt, crack jokes, crack bad jokes, think in the gutter, math, have an opinion, be a redhead, blog, podcast, move out, care, dance at a wedding and drive to Tucson.

at the same time, they remained patient through all my wimping out, backing out, cancellations, excuses, tardiness, hand-washing, panicking, faking, no-shows, embarrassing public vomiting (just once), shy silences, incessant babbling, apologies, rants, breakdowns, B.O., wigging out, tears, epiphanies, resolutions, failures, broken promises, lost credit cards, incomplete drawings, abandoned webcomics and keeping borrowed books and cds too long.  in short, i'd never really been a friend before.  they let me practice on them.

that was last year in a nutshell.  i've changed so much.  the world around me is no longer fear, but food.  every situation can be digested and turned into new facets of my identity, not to mention bloggable satire and poop jokes.  everything is edible.  …except poop.  don't eat poop.

anyways, i'd show you a picture of myself at thirty, but i wasn't taking pictures then.  i didn't really like myself.  but here's me a year later (like a few minutes ago):


thanks, guys.

not that i'm not still a social retard.  i am.  but no more than you and the rest of the world.  where would be the humor in being perfect?

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5 Responses to “finally i explain the point of this blog”

  1. 1 Dylan August 27, 2006 at 12:57 pm

    [this is nice, not skanky] [mad props] [doubletrue] Wonderful retrospective, Ernie!To add some perspective, some people NEVER undergo a makeover, or at least not a deep, soul-searching, paradigm-shattering makeover like you have. It's a terrifying, exhilirating process — and the best/worst part of the whole deal is that the makeover is never over.But give yourself a pat on the back, because you really have come far in just a year. I'm grateful to be your friend and hope that we'll all get many opportunties to add to the sizable list of crazy things we've done. Kudos!

  2. 2 Lamassu August 27, 2006 at 12:59 pm

    [w00t!!]Ernie is a goddess. What more can we say? 😉 We've helped, but you did all the hard work! A infinite huzzah for Ernie!!! We love you!

  3. 3 Ernie August 27, 2006 at 6:07 pm

    you guys are the best. i love you all! mad props all around because we RAWK! (or we power ballad.)

  4. 4 Matthew J August 27, 2006 at 10:57 pm

    man, what a jip. my comment didnt get posted the first time somehow. anyway, youre so freaking awesome. i feel priveleged to have witnessed this whole thign first hand. Youre incredible, way to be.

  5. 5 AnnaPants September 8, 2006 at 5:35 pm

    This is an amazing post my friendy friend. Almost made me cry a
    little. You're a wonderful awesome person and I'm grateful that
    I've been able to be counted as one of your friends and to both witness
    and participate in the YOU makeover. It doesn't stop, because
    we're not finished yet, and it can be hard and beautiful at the same
    time, but it's so worth it isn't it!?

    Also, we must add to that list!!! I can think of a few things right now….

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