Archive for September, 2006

it’s gonna be a big one

my cat is digging in the cat box.

she's been in there digging for quite a while.  with those loud, scary strokes that say rhythmically, i'm-a-gonna-lay-a-bomb-so-gimme-gimme-room.

pity me, people.  PITY ME!!!  my cat craps bigger than a small dog!  i mean the turds are roughly the size of a shih tzu!  it's a daily trial for me!  (she's very regular.)


and don't be fooled by this face.

this cat can make smells that would make your mother cry.

if you don't believe me, check out my old blog, where my postings about her poop were almost as regular as she is.

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something for zazu to read

because she asked for reading material.  i totally hear ya.

…what, me?  no, I'm not going to write it, psh!  that takes effort!  whaddaya think i am, a blogging machine??  i need SLEEP!

but here are some of my favorite blogs:

Double Fine Action News a blog masquerading as the news updates from the creators of the Excellent Game Psychonauts.  Highly serialized.  For best humorous effects, go here and start at the bottom.  (whoops, i got so excited there, i started capitalizing!)

the defective yeti   funny.  incisive.  in seattle.  if you're like me, you skip the politics and go straight to the conversations, the humor, or the really random stuff.

Mighty Girl  also funny.  makes me read poetry sometimes, which i like, because i'm too lazy to do it on my own.

hope you enjoy.

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hundred shmundred

Fact #1:  whenever she hears the word "pilates," my niece lays down on the floor, sticks her feet in the air and pumps her arms at her sides in a pretty good imitation of the torturous "Hundred" (one hundred pumps with the arms while your legs are at a 45-degree angle or so).

Fact #2:  in my family, we tend to talk more about working out than we actually do it.

Result:  she got super excited the other day when i ACTUALLY STARTED DOING PILATES.  she came running over, lay down next to me and started the Hundred.  she watched my face, riveted as i kept count for us and occasionally reminded her to breathe.  then somewhere around fifteen, she put her legs down, turned to me and suggested, "geegoo," with an accompanying sign in ASL.

apparently it was time for a cookie.

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nose fruit (a cautionary tale)

we're eating sunday lunch at our favorite french cafe around (the only french cafe around. see below:)

and my Adorable Niece aged just 22 months (she's a genius!) wolfs down her fruit just so she can drink the juice at the bottom of the bowl.  this is her favorite part.  she has discovered that finishing the fruit is best done first, before tipping the bowl's contents onto her face.  (see?  genius!)  this time, when she puts the bowl down, there is a bit of pineapple stuck to the end of her nose.

"you have fruit on your nose!" i exclaim.

astonished, she removes the pineapple for examination.  she looks at me, processing.  points to her nose, says, "nose."

my niece's genius delights me.  i nod.  "nose fruit!" i proclaim.

to this, she responds by meditatively cramming that pineapple chunk as far up her left nostril as she can before the entire table of adults yell, "gah!!"

surprised and confused, my niece gazes around at us and breathes thoughtfully through her nose.  the pineapple flaps gently back and forth in there.

fear not, her father (my brother) extracted it safely, but the damage was done.  for that lunchtime at least, I assumed her grandfather's place as the Bad Influence.  this aunt thing is a tough gig.  after all the choked back swear words and missed opportunities for off-color jokes, what finally gets me… is nose fruit.  add that one to the mental list of "banned until she's thirty."  or at least old enough not to shove food into the wrong facial orifices.

i couldn't resist though: when loaning her mother a crumpled kleenex from my pocket later, i had to vouch for its cleanliness.  i whispered, "no nose fruit."

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