an african lion would just pee on him

okay, this calls for a mushy announcement.  my dear dyer lunatic has been boldly announcing our new relationship on his blog with the courage of a well-rounded, feeling 21st century man.  time for ME to cowboy up and bare my sappy soul to the blogosphere.

i, Ernie Whatsherface, am in love.  for the first time in my life.  at 31, i know.  who knew this would be the next chapter in my transformation?  tiger and i thought we'd just go out a few times to introduce me to the world of dating.  he made me dance at a wedding and plenty of other firsts i listed in my makeover post.  then he went away to school.  i started striking out on my own, dating some really strange men.  okay, one really strange man.  once.  (that's a good story for another day.)

tiger and i kept in touch, sometimes happily, more often arguing, misunderstanding or hurting each other.  that should have been our first clue.  then he came home for a visit and suddenly things were different.  terrifyingly different until we talked it through and realized that we both felt different in the same way.  we were falling in love.

for any other social tards out there, i must record for posterity that love feels kinda funny.  sometimes like indigestion, sometimes like an arrhythmia i should really have looked at.  there have been fevers, mood swings and fainting spells.  there have been rashes.  not those kinds of rashes.  i just get hives when i'm nervous.

while I am a socially-stunted 31, tiger is a courageous 19 with a trail of exes.  i had no idea, but informing them all has been quite the drama.  the toughest one yet was just tonight, sparking this post which promised you the reader mushiness.  i lied.  it is in reality ME STAKING MY CLAIM.  Like so:

BACK OFF, LADIES.
dude's mine.  get over it.  and get your own.

there, i think that should do it.  now i just have to gang tag his myspace, facebook and deviant art accounts.  i'm thankful this isn't the african savannah, or i'd be seriously out of pee by now.

excitingly, i am taking my first trip to tiger's school this weekend so i can see his dorm, his classes, his friends, his cafeteria, etc.  i don't know that i've ever been so excited to visit anyone.  or heard of so many people offering anyone so many condoms.  nice, people.  way to sleaze it up.  but thanks for the thought.

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5 Responses to “an african lion would just pee on him”


  1. 1 Mynmyn October 10, 2006 at 1:47 am

    *hugs Erine*
    Isn't love grand…and painful….and occasionally sickening?
    Just wait until you're doing something or saying something and you just have to stop yourself and say aloud: OMG was I really that sacchrine just now? Don't worry it doesn't last long. You usually fall immediately into one of those loving glows when you realize you have ever reason to be that happy.
    And I would never sleaze it up by offering you condoms…..stash some in your purse or luggage maybe but…..*winks*

  2. 2 Dylan October 10, 2006 at 8:08 am

    That tiger is definitely worth peeing on. Metaphorically, of course, not literally (unless you're into that sort of thing).I'm happy for the both of you! (And don't worry about me offering you condoms, since I've already fulfilled that urge by gifting you with The Guide to Getting It On. Way better than a condom, though not actually as a pregnancy-preventing device.)

  3. 3 Matthew J October 10, 2006 at 8:13 am

    wow thats great news. that guy sure is lucky. good looking too. have fun travelling!yeah okay, its true. I'm tiger. Im so desperately in love with ernie, i dont even know what to do about it. but blogging seems like a safe bet. *sniff* did someone take a piss? and why do i feel…wet?

  4. 4 Piscis October 11, 2006 at 8:13 am

    I'm so happy for you two! Treat each other right, now, hear? (>^-')>
    (Hey, I made you dance at the wedding… (>^-')> )
    Hope the weekend goes awesomely for the both of you!

  5. 5 Matthew J October 11, 2006 at 9:34 pm

    as i remember it, I made everyone dance. no one even wanted to dance until i made a nuisance of myself about it because a wedding without dancing is… tragic. thanks for your support guys!


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