Archive for March, 2008

outnumbered (not for the squeamish)

i'm staring sleeplessly into space (thanks, prescription decongestant, you fucker), dabbing at my bloody nose, gingerly swallowing past the sand paper in my throat while hacking up globs of monkey poo.  in the limp defeat after a coughing fit, a white-hot needle of pain works its way through my left frontal lobe to the base of my skull and i weakly think, "so many… so many symptoms…"

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dear diary: i’m gross.

this is what happens when friends let friends go to work sick.  two journal entries.

Today, I am the hideous phlegm beast.

Nice to meet you.

But I went to work anyway.  I frightened the patrons, alienated my co-workers (or was that entertained my co-workers?) and put all the books in all the wrong places.

My work here is done.

Good night.  Must rest up for my encore tomorrow.

and the next day.

Today, I continued my career as The Hideous Phlegm Beast (or, as I like to be called, The Uber Goober).

This time, I alienated the patrons, baffled my co-workers and, oh yeah, managed to shred my name tag.  In a shredder.  While still wearing it.

Don't ask.

ah the good times.

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snowflakes they ain’t

have you heard this crap about not catching the same cold twice?  apparently once your body kicks a virus, you're immune to it.  funny, because here i am trying to sleep propped up, drugged and desperately grasping handfuls of puffs plus and i could swear this cold is just the SAME. DAMN. ONE.

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this is maybe the most beautiful song i’ve ever heard

sia's done it again.  Some People Have Real Problems is just the album i needed.


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