blog the knob

that’s what i just told the Pants I would do. so I’m blogging the knob.

the Knob joined us on Sunday, April 18th at exactly 6:56 am Pacific time. it happened like so:

  • getting the Cupcakemobile underway along with a uhaul of Cupcake’s worldly goods
  • Cupcake’s Pomeranian Mochi doing a funny little dance in the driver’s seat instead of letting Cupcake get in
  • Mochi being unceremoniously lifted and launched into the back seat, where he lands in an undignified wiggling bundle of fluff and splayed legs
  • laughing at Mochi’s expense
  • not noticing the exact size or height of the passenger side opening… too busy laughing
  • head meeting door frame loudly
  • experiencing a bright light and double vision
  • AT LAST: the bleeding, purpling, GROWING Knob comes into being on forehead

the Knob has continued to grow and change color over the last few days, like the sentient, magical being it is. we also believe it to be responsible for some of my recent moments of unbridled genius. we keep it covered with bangs, for its power is too great. tonight the Pants informs me it is now yellow.

Foolish Pants. Look not directly at the Knob. Its power. Is too great.

4 Responses to “blog the knob”

  1. 1 Jungle Cat April 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    If I told you to read a post on a blog called “Sexual Reference” titled “blog the knob,” I bet you wouldn’t expect it to be about a head wound and a dancing Pomeranian. This is clearly a case of false advertising.

    • 2 sexualreference April 22, 2010 at 1:33 pm

      i disagree. disappointed expectations are absolutely a part of sex. besides, there are plenty of guys out there blogging about their knobs. why shouldn’t i get to blog about mine?

  2. 3 Jungle Cat April 22, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    “disappointed expectations are absolutely a part of sex” This sentence makes no sense to me, for I am . . . the Jungle Cat. And when you are with the JC, all expectations are met (and then some). Oh, and I have never once blogged about my knob. I may have bragged about it, but never blogged. That’s just weird.

    • 4 sexualreference April 22, 2010 at 11:56 pm

      of course, i was referring to the lives of mere mortals, not a SEX PANTHER like you, Jungle Cat.

      but you did write about your knob just now on this blog. i guess there’s a first time for everything?

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