it drinks your beer and doesn’t pay rent

this is me.

Big Rabbit's Bad Mood by Ramona Badescua brilliant writer named Ramona Badescu was nice enough to write a story about me and artist Delphine Durand captured my likeness with eerie faithfulness. except that the nose is not quite as phallic as mine is in real life and my ears are bigger. but that’s pretty much the look on my face. every time Cupcake sees me she says, “you’re making the face. what’s wrong?”

what’s wrong is i’ve been living with this bad mood for over a month now. it follows me around and messes with me when i’m trying to do stuff.

bad mood messing with stufflook at me trying to do stuff. look at the hapless look on my face. and you’d think i’d be happy with all that stylish furniture to sit on. but this is how i look most evenings.

lying on the flooryes, i am lying on the floor. the remote works just as well from there. and my mood is so bad it’s killing my houseplants.

and that’s not the only thing i can blame on my bad mood. who else do you think is leaving all those dirty wine glasses and zinger wrappers in the living room? and all of last week’s outfits on the floor in the front hall? according to the book, my bad mood even left that pile of boogers by the couch. gross!

my bad mood is why today at work i crabbed at Pants over some dying goldfish. it’s also why i considered flipping the bird at a little kid on the way home for making rude faces at me from a Toyota. my bad mood then almost convinced me to make the bang-you’re-dead sign at him (which, in my aviators and cupcake’s studded leather jacket, would have looked KICK ASS). and ultimately my bad mood is why i just burst into tears instead.

like this.

sorry

don’t make faces at me, mean little kid. i can’t just laugh it off right now. i’m stuck with this mood.

in the book, the bad mood disappears because all rabbit’s friends show up with presents and it turns out it’s his birthday and everyone throws him a party.

this sounds suspiciously like a daydream rabbit is having while lying on the floor. meanwhile the bad mood is eating the antenna that brings in the sweet HD (dear bad mood i had to buy a new one saturday night thanks a lot love tink xo).

what makes YOUR bad mood disappear? let’s all list the real things that make our big, hairy, bad mood go away. and tape it underneath the coffee table where we’ll see it just when we need it most.

bleh

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5 Responses to “it drinks your beer and doesn’t pay rent”


  1. 1 Jungle Cat May 4, 2010 at 11:15 am

    Things that make my bad mood disappear:
    1. Cupcake
    2. Cupcakes
    3. Seinfeld
    4. Christina Hendricks
    5. Cheetos (crunchy)
    6. Tenacious D
    7. Family Guy
    8. Doughnuts
    9. The Black Crowes
    10. Flight of the Conchords

  2. 3 sexualreference May 5, 2010 at 10:21 am

    3. writing this post and the one the next day

  3. 4 Jungle Cat May 6, 2010 at 9:52 am

    11. Anything made by Little Debbie
    12. Metallica
    13. Making Cupcake laugh
    14. Petting my cats Moby & Bob
    15. Making lists


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