bye-bye, sexy lady

as we were getting ready to lock up tonight, we were surprised by a monkey-like shape flitting past the front door and some whoops of laughter.


it’s a fact of life that when i get the closing shift at work there will always be at least one child hanging around at 9:01 pm with no guardian present and no feasible way of getting home from the library.

in these cases, our policies state that it’s not cool to kick a minor out on the street and take off, no matter how badly you want to get home to your DVR’d episodes of the Mentalist. these same policies actually say to stay with the minor, exchanging awkward silences punctuated by furtive eye contact until a ride arrives, or until a quarter after when we have to CALL THE COPS.

i went outside to explain this to the minors, whom I found goofing around in the bushes and whooping like chimpanzees. they appeared to be roughly 15 and 12 and assured me their ride was “almost here.” then they avoided eye contact and went galumphing away toward the parking lot.


back inside to report to my fellow closing librarians. we shut everything down anyways and crowded just inside the doors, peering outside hopefully. miraculously, just then a huge pickup pulls into the parking lot and barely slows enough for both boys to fling themselves into the open bed. as the truck pulls around to the exit, the 15 year old’s legs are still flailing skyward, while the 12 year old waves in our direction and we hear a shrill shout.

“bye-bye, sksy lhdeh!”

“what did they call me?” i ask.

S is almost laughing too hard to say.

“Bye-bye… sexy lady!”

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