mommy, why is the shark lying down?

today, i fell on my money-maker in front of 300 elementary students while wearing a shark costume.

we pretty much had them won over, too. they were laughing WITH us, not even AT us, at least as far as you can tell such a thing from inside a big posterboard shark head that keeps you from seeing your feet. Pants and I were waving and making our exit and that’s when i tripped on one of my flippers and gravity handled the rest.

it got really quiet. i tried to make a joke of it and flail my arms like “man overboard!” but since my arms were protruding from the shark’s posterboard mouth, it must have looked more like a struggle for survival, like a cross between National Geographic, Peter Benchley, and Elmo’s World.

because i was on work time and teaching values to children and driving my own vehicle, i will not even mention that i’m not sure i wasn’t still a little drunk from last night.


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