carpooling 101

the Pants is unfailingly, maddeningly cheerful. anger and irritation are foreign concepts to her, so when you are in the grips of a bad mood, she has a habit of staring at you like a newborn robot trying to grapple with the concept of frail humanity.

this morning as we walked in to work together, Pants was protesting my god-given right to be grumpy two consecutive days in a row. “hey! I’M PMS-ING!” i said reasonably. ok just a little loudly. in the library. in the quiet shhh library. with several members of the public staring at me, mid page-turn. let’s hyperbole this moment.

eh. not terrible for my first try. my boobs at least look fantastic. they should. haven’t you heard? i’m pms-ing.

now that everyone in the children’s department is apprised of my menstrual cycle, i can clip on my name tag and set to work helping them find their books on tortoises and giving them their summer reading prizes. and laughing along when they tell me they saw the shark fall down at their school.

i’m a hot mess.

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5 Responses to “carpooling 101”


  1. 1 Dylan Baker June 11, 2010 at 7:47 am

    Hurray for illustrations! Your blog is like an inappropriate picture book now!

    I think my favorite thing about your drawing of you proclaiming your current status to the world is that it looks like both your hands are thumbs up-ing your declaration! Though I must be misinterpreting it, because surely you wouldn’t be thumbs up-ing such a thing!

    (Also, are you sure the Pants are immune to anger and irritation? Just try talking to her about her graduate program!)

    • 2 sexualreference June 11, 2010 at 8:15 am

      thank you, o wise digerati, you have given me the fuel to combat the baby robot stare. from now on, i will invoke the memory of her graduate program and she will be right there steaming with me!

      and, speaking of inappropriate picture books, i had the hardest time drawing the right hand. it kept turning out like a giant penis.

  2. 3 The Original June 14, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    Alternately, you could ask the pants about our wedding venue.

    • 4 sexualreference June 15, 2010 at 11:22 am

      HA! that is awesome. here’s how it will go.

      me: “i am so PISSED that i totaled my car yesterday!”
      Pants: “but on the bright side, you’ll get a lot of walking in!”
      me: “too true, Pants. say, have you settled on a venue for your wedding yet?”
      Pants: CRITICAL ERROR SELF DESTRUCT INITIATED

      thank you, Original!!


  1. 1 tear :’( « Sexual Reference Trackback on August 2, 2010 at 11:35 pm

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