carts are for pussies

Snapshot: Standing in Costco, juggling another 15 pounds of grapefruit, a flat of blueberries, a new kind of mangoes, a phone conversation with my mom and unabashed drooling over a $400 faux-leather futon. I get looks from a few people and manage to knock a whole stack of children’s undergarments to the floor. (Only at Costco would there be stacks of miniature underthingies to knock on the floor.)

Checking out with what turns out to be $30 of just solid produce.Yeah! I am a food-pyramid-eating MONSTER! An oddity of nature and excess!

“Just a few things for you today?” Costco Girl asks.

Just a few things? I look at my purchases. It never occurred to me that when the mountain of fruit I am about to carry out to my car raised eyebrows it would be for being such a small mountain of fruit. Deflated, yes I admit to only having enough purchases to fill up just one huge toilet paper box.

Costco operates on a whole other level of excess. I can’t compete.

America, you’re weird sometimes.


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