Stop freaking out… and please don’t poop in here.

I have a new pet. It’s our old family cat Maimer whose habit of terrorizing my parents’ other cat and leaving angry vengeful turds everywhere almost got her euthanized but somehow landed her in the lap of luxury at my mini mansion instead. It is because I am weak.

And I am running my dishwasher tonight for the first time since her arrival a few days ago. So as I slipped under the covers these are the words I just found myself saying to the cat staring wild-eyed at the bedroom door and gripping the foot of my bed like one would the steering wheel of a car going over a cliff: “Mei-mei, stop freaking out… and please don’t poop in here.”

Cats are dumb. And they are pitiless pooping machines. If you cross them, they will get you back with their poop. End of story.

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4 Responses to “Stop freaking out… and please don’t poop in here.”


  1. 1 Jungle Cat June 8, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    Cats ARE dumb. I have two and they constantly irritate with me with their feline idiocy. And what do I get out of it except pussycat pee and poop all over my property? I wish they were laser cats.

    Anyone want two non-laser cats?


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