Posts Tagged 'french cafe'

nose fruit (a cautionary tale)

we're eating sunday lunch at our favorite french cafe around (the only french cafe around. see below:)

and my Adorable Niece aged just 22 months (she's a genius!) wolfs down her fruit just so she can drink the juice at the bottom of the bowl.  this is her favorite part.  she has discovered that finishing the fruit is best done first, before tipping the bowl's contents onto her face.  (see?  genius!)  this time, when she puts the bowl down, there is a bit of pineapple stuck to the end of her nose.

"you have fruit on your nose!" i exclaim.

astonished, she removes the pineapple for examination.  she looks at me, processing.  points to her nose, says, "nose."

my niece's genius delights me.  i nod.  "nose fruit!" i proclaim.

to this, she responds by meditatively cramming that pineapple chunk as far up her left nostril as she can before the entire table of adults yell, "gah!!"

surprised and confused, my niece gazes around at us and breathes thoughtfully through her nose.  the pineapple flaps gently back and forth in there.

fear not, her father (my brother) extracted it safely, but the damage was done.  for that lunchtime at least, I assumed her grandfather's place as the Bad Influence.  this aunt thing is a tough gig.  after all the choked back swear words and missed opportunities for off-color jokes, what finally gets me… is nose fruit.  add that one to the mental list of "banned until she's thirty."  or at least old enough not to shove food into the wrong facial orifices.

i couldn't resist though: when loaning her mother a crumpled kleenex from my pocket later, i had to vouch for its cleanliness.  i whispered, "no nose fruit."

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