Posts Tagged 'google'

I smell a new obsession

Just got back from seeing Aeon Flux with musegryph and biblio_girl. Okay and the big twist for me (no spoilers, don’t worry) was not why are people disappearing or what is the government hiding, but where the hell have I seen that guy’s face before? Seriously, the characters weren’t the only ones deja-vuing here. And I’m not talking about Johnny Lee Miller, who some of us affectionately refer to as the Manwhore (long story involving an innocent Google image search gone horribly wrong). No, I’m talking the guy playing his brother. All I could think was, “I didn’t like you wherever it was I saw you before, but I sure like you now!”

Well, I came home and went right to imdb.com. Apparently I don’t watch enough Xena or LOTR, because what shocked me is that guy was totally Decker from Timeline! The mind boggles.

Okay, aside from obsessing over the male lead, which is not the point of the movie (I do keep forgetting that… hello, Phantom of the Opera!), I was very impressed by the entire experience. For us sci-fi fans subsisting on a meager diet of Imitation Trek and Edgy Human Dramas Incidentally Placed in Space, this was a pleasant surprise, along the lines of Serenity: an original take on technology and the future, a believable new world populated by familiar themes and emotions, a twisty plot with lots of action and some romance thrown in. I loved it! I haven’t read any other reviews as yet, but judging by it’s lack of publicity, I suppose I’m not in the majority in my assessment. I could give a shit. Really. This movie is worth owning. And if you’re going to nit-pick because it strayed too much from MTV’s animated Aeon Flux, well I can’t help you there since I never saw it. But do what I do when Hollywood “murders” my favorite novels: just take it as a brand new story. And with this story–cast, filming, effects and all–it’s worth it. IMHO.

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So a guy walks into a bar… and says OUCH!

Sorry, that was corny. But appropriate for my current state of clumsiness. And I do have a story:

So I wake up in the middle of the night for a bathroom call, and when I look in the mirror, there’s blood on my nose. I’m like what the– I scrub at it. It’s a gash. Or at least a deep scratch. Now I’m feeling paranoid. How is it I’m getting cuts on my face in my sleep? Did I scratch myself? My nails are nonexistent. Did Maimer do it? But the little kobold’s just sleeping innocently at the foot of my bed. Did I fall asleep with paper and pencil again? I’m gonna lose an eye if I keep doing that.

Accepting the strange reality that I somehow sleepwalked face first into a cheese grater, I slap a bandaid across my nose and head back to bed through the pitch black of my room. I go to dive into bed and run face first into the Leaning Tower of Music and Reading Material that lives on my nightstand. This could have something to do with it, I’m thinking. I’m afflicted with life-threatening clumsiness! Combined with chronic disorganization, it’s amazing I’ve lived this long. So it’s still pitch black, I still have a bandaid on my nose, but now my face and hands are throbbing, I’m catching books, cds and papers as they slide every which way and the commotion has awakened Maimer who decides now’s a good time to maul me with love. I can’t see a thing, but she’s yapping and growl-purring, rubbing against my arms and biting my fingers as I hold desperately onto the crumbling remains of the Leaning Tower. When my Cowboy Bebop mix cds start hitting her, though, she starts to complain.

So if any of you are confused as to what kind of animal my kobold kompanion is really, it’s on purpose. If you’re not confused, then I’m not as clever as I thought (a distinct probability) or else you’ve met the real thing in real life (for those few of you who have, I’m sorry, she’s just like that). But if anybody’s confused as to what a kobold is, plain and simple, I can help you there. And I’ll do it with an acrostic!

Kowardly
Ontisocial
Bicious
Ogly
Lizard
Dogs

There! It’s like a kobold wrote it! Cuz they’re stupid, too. But I couldn’t fit that into the acrostic. Now, there’s some disagreement as to whether kobolds are reptilian or canine. (In Baldur’s Gate, I always thought they looked like organ grinder’s monkeys, with little red vests, going “oo-oo-ah” when I killed them.) But, since each side of the debate is spearheaded by the greatest geniuses of gaming (Wizards of the Coast say lizards, while Ninth Level Games and Dork Storm say dogs), I like to integrate both into my concept of kobolds. Plus I just like the sound of “lizard dogs.”

To see different visual concepts of kobolds, do a Google image search. You’ll find some gnome-looking things in there, too, since kobolds used to be mythical mine-dwelling spirits before Wizards of the Coast got a hold of them.

Wait! I can fit “stupid” in there! Kobolds are always plural! KOBOLDS! Kowardly Ontisocial Bicious Ogly Lizard Dogs that are also very Stupid!

Here goes…

Okay, so my friend Dylan ([info]musegryph ) invited me to start a journal a while ago, but I’ve been too chicken to try it until now. I have another blog called Box Five, but I can’t find it. I know, how do you lose a blog? Well, that’s just the kinda girl I am. Thought I had it bookmarked, but apparently not. I’ve tried every address combination I can think of, but none of them exist and I’ve been looking for it for so long that by now the server’s disk space has probably been recycled into something more useful.

So here I am at The Laughing Sphinx. Would have called it Box Five, but that was already taken. (I have an unhealthy Phantom of the Opera obsession, fueled by my love of French, broadway musicals and Gerard Butler.) But I needed a change anyways. My last blog was really pretentious. This one’s lighter. It’s Laughing!

But why sphinx, I’ll assume you asked. Being a thirty-year-old library drone means I work side-by-side with people almost ten years younger than me who are in college, going somewhere, on exciting career paths. I finished my Masters four years ago, so why am I still in the same old job that only requires a high school diploma? I’m stalled on my career path, that’s why. I’m just a sphinx, hanging out on the road to Thebes, pestering my friends and co-workers, the real travellers.

Tell some riddles! you say. Sorry, don’t know any. But then I never maul anybody either. I know, the analogy needs work.

Let’s finish with some sphinx FAQs (or, rather, FGAs): No, it has nothing to do with the Laughing Sphinx, mortal enemy of Captain America (I just recently discovered, thanks to a Google search). Yes, it does have something to do with rhyming with “minx” (rarr). Yes, it is in spite of the fact that it reminds me of the word “sphincter.”