Posts Tagged 'Losties'

this post is so sexy you can hardly stand it

once again, some measly microscopic organisms have taken over my body and re-purposed it exclusively for the production of mucus, a substance without even any market value. see? sexy.

so tonight i took my sad, sorry phlegm-machine and curled it up on my parents’ living room floor and we all watched Chain Reaction, a timeless monument to the nineties’ preoccupation with clean energy, long action sequences that are fairly pointless, and China. at the end, all questions were answered and the heroes were alive. the contrast was not lost on any of us Losties in the room. ah Keanu, your movies are a welcome time machine to a simpler era.

afterward, we watched an old episode of Star Trek, my favorite show of all time. i appreciate Star Trek for taking the time it could have spent on character development and instead spending it showing jiggly things in outer space. tonight was the one where the Enterprise helps give birth to a giant ravioli. when we tried telling this to my sister as she walked through the room on the phone with her fiancé, she accused us all of being on pot and went to brush her teeth.

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show me your Others

(this post might have some spoilers if you think that finale had anything to spoil)

Dear LOST:

When someone faithfully hangs out with you every week for six years – or in your case MILLIONS of people – when MILLIONS of people stick with you even through times when you’re not at your best and they ask many thoughtful questions about you and believe your promises for answers… it’s nice to show them you appreciate them and you were listening to them all along. If you’re ever in that position again, Lost, I suggest that in your series finale you put more emphasis on the ANSWERS part and cut WAY back on the fluffy heaven shit.

Also, did you think simply parading about more men than i can count on both hands, wearing sweaty, clingy tees, exchanging intense expressions and performing feats of physical exertion in a tropical jungle setting would be enough to distract me from your complete LACK OF ANSWERS?? Well, almost. Touché, Lost. Well played.

And I agree with you: blinding light, mysterious magnetism and instantaneous travel through space and time are things that are really cool. But for future reference, simply showing a phenomenon a shit ton of times does not equal an explanation. Also, people dig Egyptians. They always want to know what those ancient dudes were up to. You don’t just throw that business around and never mention it again. That’s rude, Lost.

But in the end, you made everybody happy. I don’t mean the fans, I mean the characters. I guess that made me feel a little better. And you put my favorite couples back together after mangling their earthly bodies many times over. Shucks, Lost, I can’t help it. I guess we’re still friends. The kind of friends that push each other’s buttons just because we can.

Thanks for pushing my button one last time, Lost. I’ll miss you, you tease.

~tiny e


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