Posts Tagged 'stress'

getting un-freaked out

Getting all freaked out over nothing is my family’s style. Even genetic, perhaps. The less time I spend with them and the more I spend with friends who are less inclined to freakouts (but who inherited different entertaining quirks from their families), the more calm I tend to be. My sister is getting married. Wedding prep = increased stress + increased family time. Needless to say, we are all freaking each other out.

I was freaking out about something today on my way from one wedding stop to another and suddenly made a familiar Susan Piver realization: there is nothing happening to me right now. Nothing bad is actually happening.

Then I made a second realization: the problem is not the situation, the problem is my reaction to it. Separating the situation and my reaction helped me set my emotional response aside and focus on the situation. I calmed, my mind cleared and a solution presented itself.

Conclusion. You can change your life outlook and how you come at things is under your control. If I can come from the Freakout Family and do it, anyone can!

that’s what i get for trying alcoholism

i have stress stomach. i don’t mention it to get pity from you, Reader. i’m not like that friend who says, “Reader, i have stress stomach,” so you’ll go easy on me when we have arguments. i only mention it because once I explain to you that I’ve had matzo crackers and wine for dinner every night for a while, it makes me seem like less of a lush.

i’m feeling sensitive about it because i’m on my second bottle of wine this week and i’ve never so much as finished ONE bottle of wine by myself before. but red wine feels so good on my stress stomach. it’s MEDICINAL, Reader.

i’m also sensitive because i may have lost the use of my left forefinger in trying to open this second bottle of wine. which feels like the universe telling me something. (like when i was staying at cupcake’s house and i thought i could sneak to the bathroom in only a (short) t-shirt and nothing else but what my momma gave me coming into the world and i totally ate it getting out of bed (her bed is on a ledge) and fell over her couch where she was sleeping and across her living room, landing ladybits-up. To which Cupcake said: “It’s the universe telling you to PUT ON SOME PANTS!”)

But yes. My finger. you’re supposed to open wine surrounded by friends in a gay occasion. and the Pants was even next door, waiting for me to come over. (but not for a gay occasion, as much as she and i like to joke.) she had even texted me, “are you coming over?” but i hadn’t noticed because i was too busy SHAMEFULLY opening my bottle of wine ALONE. alone, which is when ACCIDENTS happen. the corkscrew slipped and pinched my finger against the bottle and now, even as i type this, feeling has still not returned. ah but i’ve already polished off my first glass and matzo. so everything’s ok, thanks for asking, Reader. you’re the best.

maybe it’s my stress stomach that made me argue today at work that, despite being food-related, the word CHEW is possibly the grossest word i know. (except for maybe CAMEL TOE, but that’s two words, so.) coworker lady said, “what about masticate.” i replied, “no, that just sounds like more fun than it actually is.”

BAM! and finally i made it sexual. POST DONE.