Posts Tagged 'supernatural'

Missed connections

Dear driver of the banana-yellow Scion headed south on Maple Grove around 1:30 pm today, bearing the nomenclature “Demon Hunter” with accompanying artwork on your rear doors:

I regret that I was so lost in thought that I stared at your impressive logo for a full minute without a spark of comprehension and finally changed lanes because you were going too slow. I was well past you before I actually said aloud to myself, “Wait a minute, did that car say ‘Demon Hunter’?” But by then you were a banana-like blot in my rear view mirror and traffic was such that I could not slow down to get another look. (You were going really slow.)

Are you really a demon hunter? How does one procure your services? Was there maybe a phone number on the car that I was too distracted to take note of? And is that your official business vehicle, like the Schwanns truck? Were you on OFFICIAL BUSINESS right at that moment? I hope so, though your speed would not entirely indicate as much. Unless you HAD been on a call and you were transporting a prisoner from, you know, the other side? And it somehow “got loose” and took over, heading instead toward the nearest Krispy Kreme at a comfortable mosey? That’s what I would do, were I hellspawn in possession of a human body and a sweet ride.

And how does one become a demon hunter? Aside from buying a retro-futuristic vehicle and shelling out 10 k for the custom paint, I mean. Is it really like Sam and Dean make it look? i.e. SEXIER THAN HELL? I hope so, though the car fills me with doubt.

So many questions I would have liked to have asked you.

Tinkerbell (driving the purple lily pad)

badasses R us

usually even something as devoid of spiritual activity as Ghosthunters is enough to threaten my bladder control with terror and make me stay up for hours later watching reruns of Spongebob to clear my mind before bed.

enter my unreasonable addiction to the show Supernatural.  here's how my mom explains it: "Aha. I see Reason 1 and Reason 2 why you watch this show."

see the reasons?

as it happens, what time these two brothers don't spend fighting evil or looking luscious, they spend ARGUING.  they have to have the SAME EXACT ARGUMENT at least once every episode.  in season one, the argument went something like this:

dean: *gets a shotgun out of the trunk* let's go kill this dead thing.
sam: why? i want to go to school! *whine*
dean: *gets out the colt revolver* because dad said so. when dad says kill, we KILL!
sam: how do you know what he says?  all you have is his dumb journal.
dean: *gets out a taser* and my 80s mullet rock.
sam: *pouts* my girlfriend's dead.
dean: *gets out an axe* and yet you live like a monk. now do as i say. i'm your big brother.
sam: but you're shorter than me.
dean: *gets out some gasoline* and way hotter. now get to killing.  i'm sick of looking out for your ungrateful ass.
sam: okay. but only because my girlfriend's dead.

THIS season, it's MUCH more interesting:

dean: *gets a shotgun out of the trunk* let's go kill this dead thing.
sam: not until we talk about what dad said [SPOILER] before he died.
dean: *gets out a semi-automatic* you mean like we talked about it last week?
sam: and the week before.  [MORE SPOILERS] you have to promise to kill me.
dean: *gets out a shovel* it won't come to that.
sam: but i have powers! *whine*
dean: *gets out a sledgehammer* power. just one. miming psychic headaches with exaggerated grimaces of pain.
sam: *mimes a psychic headache with an exaggerated grimace of pain* and to have premonitions that are too late by the time i have them! youre-going-to-get-out-a-machete!
dean: *gets out a machete* too late. also, you're too celibate.
sam: and you're really short.  promise to kill me.
dean: *gets out some rock salt* no. now let's get killing.
sam: *pouts* i'm the reason my girlfriend's dead!

see?  see the reversal of roles??  now SAM wants to obey their father and DEAN DOESN'T??  man, i had no idea that show could be so DEEP!  i was just watching it for the dudes!

this Supernatural for the Newbie is an even better description, if only because it has PICTURES!

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