Posts Tagged 'swimming'

i am head of my class at bad guy school

at my apartment’s arctic-temperatures pool, Joaquin and Diego spend most of their time in the hot tub surrounded by a lot of residents’ kids who are older, bigger and a lot more loud-mouthed. like wide-eyed blond cherubs, Joaquin and Diego often look a little nervous.

today, the subject of careers went around. every kid expounded on what they’re going to do when they grow up.

“what about you?” one kid suddenly asked the boys.

“uh… i don’t know,” said Joaquin.

“kill good guys,” said Diego.

maybe for the first time ever, there was silence in the hot tub.


got me some bloggin to do

it feels like a lot of life happened recently. for a while there, life took a break and i was just doing a lot of thinking about life. then a whole buttload of life just up and happened. so here’s some updates.

first. the aforementioned Wisdom of a Broken Heart has seriously changed my entire life and how i relate to it. i have greedily bought up all the books by Susan Piver and gone through them with my save-the-tatas pink sharpie, highlighting all the pearls of insanely good wisdom in there. i have started a daily meditation and freewriting practice that is seriously teaching me things. ten minutes of sitting, staring and breathing. much like what i do the rest of the day, only PRODUCTIVE.

second. Hot Lunch and I are again partners in crime, only in a wonderfully comfortable and satisfying friendship with way less awkwardness than you’d expect between two people who have seen each other’s orgasm faces.

we started hanging out again over the weekend and i was taken aback by the sensation i had forgotten from our beginnings last summer. spending time with Hot Lunch is like suddenly finding myself immersed in something more breathable than air. like i thought i was breathing before, but a few exchanges, a few laughs, some shared ideas and suddenly the air we’re breathing is simultaneously easier and more beautiful. and the sexual tension isn’t half bad either.

third. i don’t know if you people have noticed, but SUMMER IS HERE, BITCHES!! and i have discovered this year’s preferred mode of fitness. two years ago it was walking/jogging, last year it was biking. BEHOLD, dear Reader, THE YEAR OF THE POOL. yes. i have discovered the pool in my apartment complex and i’ve been in it THREE DAYS IN A ROW. the first two days i mostly sunbathed and occasionally walked around in the shallow end on tiptoe wearing a grimace of pain (do they pipe this water in from SIBERIA?)

but today, i decided to try some fitness! what is a normal workout in pool terms? i decided to aim for 10 laps or 30 minutes. i made 8 laps in 25 and strolled sexily back to my deck chair. where i became increasingly (but sexily) exhausted until i finally decided to head home, which is when i made the unsexy discovery that some freaky fitness alchemy had fused my limbs into PURE LEAD. i forget, isn’t there something about exercise underwater being twice as effective? I CAN’T MOVE MY BODY, PEOPLE. i may die of pool. and just as THE YEAR OF THE POOL was beginning so auspiciously.

i am now crashed in Ugly Chair with a giant glass of water, several ibuprophen and an ice cream cone. Drumsticks have electrolytes or something, right?