Posts Tagged 'the internet'

why does this guy look so ashamed?

like he wasn’t the one who dressed himself this way? is he posing under duress? why is he personifying a cartoon hero in a blond wig without owning it? did he have second thoughts as soon as photographic evidence was introduced into the equation? and how does he have time to be both buff AND nerdy?

the internet, man. makes you wonder.

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my new least favorite phrase

as of today, “Nasty Nostril Nuggets” has moved down on the list. (sorry, Captain Underpants.)

“Loading advertisement” is I think the most offensive thing I’ve ever read. it says, “not only are we going to make you watch a video far less entertaining than the one you clicked on, but we’re going to make you sit and wait while it takes longer to load as well.”

you are not free, Internet you minx. your cost comes in the unquantifiable form of pesky irritations.

when you got a health thing

Pants came over tonight and almost the first thing she said was, “i want you to date that cute guy with all the piercings!”

i was sprawled in Ugly Chair, where i have the computer set up so i don’t have to use any muscles to view the internet. click, click with the wireless mouse and i turned the monitor so she could see the title of last night’s post.

“oh,” she said.

then we watched a little SNL on hulu. without using any muscles.

i really do need to start exercising again. the depressed-just-broke-up excuse is nearing its expiration date. maybe i’ll take kris straub‘s advice and try doing my internet while biking or mountain climbing some days instead of in Ugly Chair. he says this is good “when you got a health thing to manage.” i think this muffin top now qualifies as a health thing. even if jungle cat says Max is a fan.

but your advice is confusing, kris, because you also say not to do things that make my skin come off. and the few times i’ve encountered skin coming off usually involved some form of hazardous exercise that led up to it.

look at that! bedtime! i don’t need muscles for that either!

today was 100% good. mark it on my calendar.